A post about love, loosing weight, the way to the heart and Lion Cubs.
In February 2009 I lost my job due to organizational changes. It wasn’t the first time my job become redundant. I become quite used to the prospect of redundancy. It was the first time though, that I was really, really happy about it; I was relieved;
You see, I was doing what I love; I was training people, in something that I used to love and still fond of, IT. And I hated it!! I was under so much stress and pressure that I hated doing what I love and good at.
Maybe the story started three weeks before Christmas 2008.
I love December, all the parties, the Christmas lights and best of all my Birthday.
And I was stuck in Wakefield (no offence, Yorkshire people). But being stuck in hotel room during the three weeks before Christmas, configuring 12 sets of equipment for class, it is not my ideal way of spending my favourite time of year, leading up to my birthday. Not to mention missing all the Christmas parties.
Having nothing to do in the evening, as my hotel was literally in the middle of nowhere (again, no offence, Wakefield fans), I watched TV and ate biscuits (the hotel-room kind). I saw the program “How to look good naked” with Gok Wan, which was to my surprise, quite good. I was impressed as I usually don’t watch live TV. Got spoiled with cables and DVR’s recording capacity (mainly watching sci-fi and Disney channel).
I have been trying to loose weight since I came back from the US, but what with the traveling and the pressure, I didn’t quite get it. My Wi-Fit announced that I was obese. I didn’t see it. The extra weight kind of spread equally, around my body. I called it voluptuous. I concluded that the Wi-fit is wrong. Of course I need to loose weight and get fit, but obese is such an extreme word.
I got home, encouraged by all the naked bodies on billboards. Got Gok’s book and treated myself to good lingerie for my birthday. Apparently you start looking good by wearing the right underwear. Bullshit!! (forgive my French).
I wore it to my birthday’s dinner, just before Christmas and I still looked like an over inflated balloon in all the pictures. I hated my pictures so much, that none of them left.
So here I am in February without a job, sitting on my sofa, “learning to become” a Star Trek officer and considered obese by my Wi-Fit animated balance board.
I did go to the Gym, even in the snow. I’ve walked there, for twenty minutes each way. I did use the Wi especially the boxing. I found it surprisingly satisfying to punch empty air.
And by March, I was pretty much “qualified” to serve on a Starship, the Wi enthusiastic, animated balance board, still considered me obese. And I had no idea what I would love to do. I had no idea what my passion was. I doubt if I even knew what being passionate means anymore. (Apart from, of course, watching Star Trek, all the different Star Trek shows, including the spin off ones like Deep Space Nine).
And there were the little things, like not liking myself in pictures, not being able to comfortably lean forward to tie my shoes. All this walking to the gym and punching virtual punch bag, didn’t change a thing.
So I made a decision, well actually I gave up on loosing weight and looking good.
I’ve decided to be healthy and find out what I love.
I set up a goal to love how I look in pictures, be healthy and find my passion.
Sod the Balance board. And I’ve stopped going to the Gym.
Every day I’ve walked to the river, set and wrote what I love. What I am passionate about.
I did the Master Cleanse. Read a book about raw food. Started a diet that I’ve ended half way through, right about the time I’ve finished reading the book and couldn’t bring myself to eat cooked food any more.
It took me few months to start doing Yoga. I was frustrated, as I was so flexible before, not to be able to reach my toes. Then I’ve discovered the fast forward button on the remote. If you can’t do a pose, just fast forward.
By end of July I was doing Yoga five days a week, I was maintaining my raw food diet and I’ve started loving my photos, even the ones with the over inflated balloon look.
My wi-fit might still have considered me obese, I didn’t always check. I loved my photos!!
I was getting more and more revelations about my heart, what my heart would love and I met people who taught me about connecting to my heart.
In 18 months of being on a 99 percent (more or less) raw food diet, I’ve lost 38 kilos (almost 6 stones!!) My wi-fit consider me now in the healthy range, although it still wants me to work towards 22 BMI. Yay.
And all through this time, leaving my flat, living at other people houses for eight months. Couch sleeping, cat sitting, dog sitting, child minding, I’ve continued with Yoga five times a week and a raw food diet. At some point I even went back dancing.
I found out what I would love: Art, writing, poetry, working with energy, helping other people finding their heart, creating the life they would love, helping other people finding strength from within, learning how to work with energy, heal themselves, teaching, mentoring, having a family, the planet, helping the planet, animals welfare, recycling, alternative energy, alternate dimensions. Creating a new planet for ourselves and for generations to come. Creating new systems for the planet.
Oh I definitely found my passion. Working with energy, dancing, blues dancing, dancing with men, men, they are so amazing. Women too (in a different way). And friends, good friends, new friends, overseas friends, trans-Atlantic friends. I found out that I love natural food and I would love to grow my own food. I love sprouting, juicing, smoothies, dehydrating. That is what I love, what works for me.
The journey led me to my blog www.love-your-self.com where I also publish poems I write; to my website www.leornoham.com; to my light work practice and to the workshops I run.
The journey led me to accept who I am, who I was and where I came from. It enables me to be more then I was and to become my true self.
The journey to the heart is not necessarily easy or fast, but it starts with a choice. The choice is the first step on the journey.
The choice I’ve made was to be healthy, to love how I look in photos and to find out what I love.
It doesn’t mean that the journey is over, or I never put on weight. It doesn’t mean I don’t get afraid, sad or frustrated. It just means that my compass, my True North is pointing to my heart, to where my heart wants to go.
In 2007 I went to South Africa for a business trip. When I’ve travelled for business I used to send postcards to my nephew from all the places I’ve visited around the world. A way to connect with him, to share with him the love for adventure and exploration, the love for traveling, meeting new people and making new experiences. And I chose activities that I thought he would have loved to do.
One of those activities was visiting the Lion Park in South Africa, where you can enter the lion cubs’ enclosure and pat them. Since I didn’t love they way I’ve looked in the photos, I didn’t share the experience with my nephew.
So here I am, patting a lion cub
February 2007 – The Lion Park / South Africa
Now I love my photos and who I was then. I look with love and compassion and see my innocence, no matter what my size was, or what the Wi-fit said. My nephews, my family and friends love me, no mater what my size is.
So in a month where people tend to make New Year’s resolutions, what choice will you make? What steps will you take? Will you choose to follow your heart? Taking steps towards what you love?
My opinions aside, I am not suggesting you choose raw food or stop going to the gym in favour of Yoga or Dancing. This is what I love, what works for me, I love natural food. You might love building airplanes (and if you into building starships, give me a call )
I am suggesting, you make a choice, listen to your heart and the way will reveal itself.
Love your self - Listen to your heart,
With Love and Light,
p.s. Scroll down for photos and additional information.
My practice is in Chiswick and Neal’s Yard Therapy Rooms Richmond. To book a session and/or for 20 minutes free phone/skype consultation contact 07884418760 or firstname.lastname@example.org
I run regular workshops in NYR Richmond TW9 1ND. The next one “Commit to your New Year’s Resolutions” is on the 5th of February. Contact NYR Richmond for details and to book your place 02089489248 or email@example.com.
I also run the Chiswick Light Channelling group, which teaches participants, through a series of exercises, to channel light for their own self-healing and the healing of the planet.
© Leor Noham and love-your-self.com, 2009-2013.
More Photos - Before and After and In-Between
Left – June 2008 In a stressful job, hating doing what I used to love.
Right – June 2010 Embodying what I love ‘The goddess of Love”.
Middle – October 2011 Doing what I love, dancing!!
Taking part in Swing Patrol’s Performance Ball.
Cool photo shoot.
Loving posing for photos.
Celebrating my birthday with friends.